My father Bilal, Sheikh Hadji Muhammad Bilal-i Nadir, was born in 1895 in the village of Kozuluk (formerly Erikli Belen) in the district of Islahiye, Gaziantep. The first son of my grandfather, Abdullah Effendi, did not live long, so he married again to have a son, yet no son came. Finally, his first wife gave birth to my father Bilal. My grandfather Abdullah was one of the rich men of the village and had many flocks. For seven days he sacrificed a ram every day and he organized mawlid ceremonies. He asked famous scholars of the time to pray for his son. He asked the most famous of the m:

“What names do you suggest for my son?”

“The names of the Prophet and his Muezzin.”

That is why my father was called “Muhammad Bilal”. My grandfather sent his son to the Qur’anic School in his village. Since this place was located on a high plateau, no other child from the village except my father could attend the school. Taking my father to school every day, my grandfather ensured that he would be able to read and write. After completing his studies, my father Bilal said: “My father had me recite the Qur’an and I was the muezzin at every meal time. As my voice grew louder, especially, I was told to become the muezzin in the month of Ramadan.”

My grandfather died when my father was almost 15. He now had to take care of his family. He worked in different sectors, like trade, haberdashery, and farming. After a while, he found a book called Muzakkin-Nufus. This book is about tariqats. He studied and practiced it. As soon as he read the statement, “One who has no sheikh can not fulfill his religion and his sheikh is actually Satan,” (Muzakkin-Nufus,419), he decided to look for a sheikh. This statement had been cited by Bayazid Bistami and referred to in Muzakkin-Nufus by Ashrafoglu Rumi.

He traveled to Gaziantep and Kahramanmaraş but could not find a sheikh who satisfied his heart. He met a loving and abstentious dervish named Sivaslı Osman Effendi. That man resided in my father’s house. My father said:

- Osman Effendi and I were like brothers.

They decided to travel to Syria to look for a sheikh. My father got a horse and a money purse. They came to the border. A man in the village said to my father:

“You will be not allowed to cross the border with your horse,” so he left his horse behind.

Another said to him:“You will not be allowed to cross the border with money,” sohe left the money purse there, as well.

At that time, only those who were without horses or money were allowed to cross the border.
Although Osman Effendi was opposed to my father leaving his horse and money behind, my father did not care:“If we are sincere enough, both the money and the horse will find us again. These are all trials from Allah.”

After my father Bilal crossed the border, the villagers took the money back from the man, who they knew to be a gambler, with the permission of the border guard. They charged someone to convey the horse and the money to my father.

My father could not find a sheikh in Syria that was as portrayed in Muzakkin-Nufus, so he came back.

After arriving, my father Bilal pledged himself to a Naqshi Sheikh, Abid Effendi. As a murid, he served his Sheikh and he helped to solve the sheikh’s problems, as if he were indeed the sheikh. He did not remain long there. Later, he applied to Sheikh Hafidh Ali Effendi, a Qadiri Khalifah, who had a great personality, like Abid Effendi. He had many conversations with him. My father talked about how he dreamed about our Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, Abu Bakr, Omar, Uthman, and Ali, and how each of them had offered himself an amaanah (trust) saying that he was their vicegerent, and other similar experiences. Hafidh Ali Effendi replied: “I cannot give you a pledge. Whoever gives you a pledge is a liar. You are an Uwaysi. You will be trained in the same way that our Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,salam, trained Waisal Qarani.”

 “In every century, a mujaddid is trained up with the spiritual help of Our Prophet like Waisal Qarani.” (Mir’at-i Kainat, vol. 1, p. 403; vol. 2, p. 33; Muzakkin Nufus, p. 419; Sihah Sitta, vol. 15, Hadith nu: 5577) Those mujaddids are called Uwaysi. You are one of them; go back home and strive. Allah Almighty will fulfill your wishes.”

My father Bilal meanwhile dreamed of Sheikh Abd-al Qadir Giylani, Naqshiband Muhammad Bahauddin and Sayyid Ahmad ar-Rufai. Sheikh Abd-al Qadir Giylani said: “It is good that you study in Muzakkin-Nufus. Three of us are your helpers. You may pledge to these three tariqats. He added some other words.

My father Bilal also had many dreams about Our Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, Ali, qarramallahu wajhah, and Hasan-Husayn giving some instructions. Once, Sheikh Abd-al Qadir Giylani gave him long descriptions regarding how to go to bed, to sleep and to work.

Sheikh Abd-al Qadir Giylani instructed my father Bilal to place his right hand under his cheek when he was about to sleep while facing qiblah. He said: “Sleep once in the night! You will wake up when you extend your legs out. Afterwards,  do not sleep again!”

This way of sleeping is sunnah. Our Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, slept this way. He remembered Allah lying on his side. There is an ayah: “Those who remember Allah standing and sitting and lying on their sides” (Al-e-Imran, 191) Sleeping this way is compulsory, and it is sunnah for us because our Prophet , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, did so.

While our Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, served in the cave of Hira, he ate salt-free barley bread. In Sufism, eating less is called “riyadah”, while acting the way nafs does not like and striving in worship is called “mujahadah”. My father Bilal began to work hard for riyadah and mujahadah, and just ate salt-free barley bread for seven years.

Hadith:

“Al-mujahadatu yuris-ul mushahadah.”

Meaning:

“Struggling with your nafs yields the observation of Allah.” (Marifatnama, p. 424; Muzakkin-Nufus, p. 23-25) After seven years of riyadah, my father Bilal made a retreat of forty days. During that time, he experienced a number of spiritual states, and he prayed a lot. One of his prayers follows: “O my Lord! Grant me jazbah (intense feeling) of the Merciful, the meaning of the Qur’an, and destruction of enemies.” After finishing his seclusion, he had achieved Sufism, , tariqat, and wisdom.

Allah’s Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, says: “Hunger is the cloud of wisdom.” (Ihya, vol. 3, Hadith no: 144, p. 195; Marifatnama, p. 600)

“Nothing kills hearts but gluttony.” [Muzakkin-Nufus, p. 293; Marifatnama, p. 600 (similar)]

Allah’s Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, says:

Al-Miqdad ibn Ma'diqarb narrated that he heard the Messenger of Allah, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, say:

“The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls to keep him going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill one third with food, one third with drink and one third with air.” (Sunan Dhirmizi, vol. 4, Hadith no: 2486; Mawahib-i Ladunniyah, vol. 1, p. 505)

There is a Hadith Qudsi:“I put wisdom in hunger, whereas people look for it in fullness.” (Anwar-ul Ashiqin, p. 130)

My father gave sermons until his last breath. He died a few hours after his final sermon. His last sermon is as follows:“I dreamed that the Qur’an was buried by mud. I dug it out and took it out. I cleaned it and placed it in a high place. I warned those around me to protect it and not to let it fall it into the mud again; then I woke up.”

He was asked:“What does it mean?”

He said:“I abolished customs and practices that were against the Holy Qur’an for fifty years with my books and tapes and replaced them with the ayahs and sunnah of the Prophet, , sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,. I took the Quran out of the spiritual mud, cleansed it and placed it in a high place.

“If you lapse back to your previous behavior, and act against the Qur’an and the Sunnah, then you cause the spirit of the Qur’an to fall into the mud. I call you to keep your promise. Keep your promise as you keep the Qur’an.”

For two hours he gave a sermon on this subject and then died. The doctor had warned him that he was at risk if he continued to join and talk in public. Yet, my father Bilal said:“Allah has tested me many times in my life. Now He is testing me with my life, to see whether I can sacrifice it or not. This is my reaction: ‘I do not want any life or years without giving a sermon and thus benefiting Islam.’”

So, he continued to talk until he died.

My father Bilal died on the night of 22^nd December, 1969 in the village of Carpin in Gaziantep. He is buried in the village Danacik (Hamidiye) in the Nurdagi district.

He had 15 mosques built in the villages of Gaziantep, Kahramanmaras, and Islahiye, yet he never collected, nor demanded, any money publicly.

Because of false accusations, he was put under surveillance 54 times, arrested 36 times, and called on more than 100 times for his testimony. He lived in exile for ten years in Giresun and for two years in Istanbul. When in exile in Giresun, we, our family, were all together. We went to Giresun in 1936 and came back in 1946. When in exile in Istanbul, my father Bilal was alone for two years, 1954-1956. The incidents of September 6-7 and the war between Abdün-Nasr and the British troops took place during that time. My father Bilal became known better and better every time he was arrested or sent to exile.

The tape recorder was an invention of his latter years. He recorded his sermons on cassette. Now, we have 100 hours of cassette tapes. He had many books; among them Javahir-al-Islam, Zuhuratiya-e-Gaylaniyya, Haza-Kitab-al Hadith, Kitab-al-Ummiyya, and others. We published Javahir-al-Islam, Zuhuratiya-e-Gaylaniyya and a hadith book. Soon we will publish others, as well, if Allah wills.

Our great ancestor is the famous Kublai Kutlubay Khan who ruled the Tatars. My grandfather Abdullah Efendi and his family have been called the sons of Kutlubay. When the surname law was adopted, my father Bilal preferred to use the Kutlubay surname to indicate to which family he belonged.

My father Bilal gave me special advice when he was about to die. Let me tell you some of them.

He said:“I have suffered and endured for Allah and His religion, Islam. For years, I have prayed maqhrib and fajr with same wudu. I made riyadah for seven years just by eating salt-free barley bread. Although Allah Almighty has granted me many spiritual ranks, I could not attain the highest rank by doing what I have done.”

Hadith: “Man khadima, khudima.”

Meaning: “Those who serve will be those who will be served.” (Muzakkin-Nufus, p. 492)

“I have served the poor and rich, the sick and healthy, the blind and lame, the peasant and urban of the Ummat-e-Muhammad for fifty years, as you have observed. I also expect you to behave same way. Our house is for the sick and healthy, the sane and insane of Ummat-e-Muhammad; may they reside and eat here. The most privileged ones are the uncared for orphans and lonely senior citizens in our house.”

Once, I heard him saying to them:“Imagine a fox. She has a cave. She hunts for food. Whenever she is threatened by hunters, she comes back to her cave. She eats what she finds there. This cave preserves her from the cold. You are like this fox. This house is your cave. It is open every day of the year. If you go and find a better place, I will be delighted. Otherwise, you are always welcome. I can provide you with food and board to the extent of my budget. I ask you for no reward: my reward is only due from Allah.”

He told me: “Listen to me carefully. There are many sheikhs; those who pray, those who praise and those who are to be praised at this time. They are all invalid in this world and in the state of Allah in the Hereafter. If you want to please me, I want you to have the hospitality that my father, Abdullah Efendi had fifty years before me, and which I had for fifty years after him. Unless you act as host to your guests, I will not be satisfied with you as my follower, even though you prostrate before Allah 24 hours a day and fast 12 months a year. Pray five times a day, fast in the month of Ramadan, do the compulsory ones. If you are a host to guests as I was before you, I will be delighted with your behavior. What I offer you is the hardest, the most rewarded, and the most honorable thing to do before Allah, His Prophet, and Muslims. It seems easy, yet, it is very difficult to do. Nobody can do it. Even though, he may be able to do it, it will be limited and temporary. Do not mind worldly possessions and how to earn your living! If you spend on the path of Allah, Allah will increase your possessions. This is a hadith.”

Our Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,, said:

“I swear upon three things: (One of them is this:) Sadaqah taken from a property never decreases it, but increases it.” (Ramuz-al-Hadith, Hadith no: 4803; Sihah Sitta, vol. 10, Hadith nu: 3271; 250 Hadith Book, Hadith no: 205, p. 167; Sunan-e-Dhirmizi, Vol. 4, Hadith no: 2427)

(Mukhtar-al-Ahadith Nabawiyya, Hadith no: 492, p. 301)

“There are three things I know, which are right:

a. If someone forgives an oppression done to him, Allah will increase his honor and glory,

b. If a servant opens a door to begging, Allah opens upon him a door to poverty,

c. If a servant opens a door to giving charity for the sake of Allah, Allah grants him much more.”

Never reject a gift. Receive whatever you are offered, be it either money or goods, and give its equivalent. If you do not need it, give it to the needy. Do not feel ashamed andsay that you do not accept gifts. Be a man! Add to those the gifts offered by others, work harder, mediate and leave great works like mosques, fountains, bridges and paths that no one can do alone.